i don’t know why i get really irritated over the stupidest people and things nowadays. so since i’m so bored now waiting for obama to give his bloody speech i shall write a list of things i get mung-bean-crazy about. yup i’m this mo liu and duk harn. and i’m full of anger right now so please excuse my language.
1. i hate people who go like WOOO OBAMA! just cuz it’s ‘in’ right now.
honestly tell me how much you know about his proposed policies.
‘something to do with..uhm..taxes?’
‘i know! i know! getting the troops out of iran.’
tell me how much you know about democracy.
‘uhm…freedom?’
‘having a black guy as the president!’
you don’t care about american politics you imposters. so shut up.
2. i hate people who have no yee hey. you don’t have to die for me like gangstas do but you can surely get your lazy bum off your seat to accompany me to the toilet?
3. i hate people who use big words. no, you don’t know what recalcitrant or contumacious mean. life is not a bloody SAT exam so please speak human and stop copying and pasting from thesaurus.com.
4. i hate it when my fridge is out of eggs. because i cannot make my favourite egg mayo sandwiches in the middle of the night. or add an egg to my favourite spicy seafood cup noodles.
5. i hate it when the bloody form 5s whom i take the taxi with to school are at least 15 mins late in the morning. which is like every single day. because by the time we get back, it’s too late for my breakfast A. damn you to hell! this really pisses me off every morning.
6. i hate people who fuck up the toilets. it really scares me when i get inside the toilet urgently (‘closing my eye tightly’ if you get what i mean HAHAHA) just to find turd or blood or pubic hair sitting there, looking helplessly at me. i know you can’t help it if the toilet won’t flush, but if you KNOW that the toilets aren’t state-of-the-art ones, DON’T GO IF YOU’RE PREPARED TO EJECT BALLISTIC MISSILES OUT OF YOUR ASS. no one wants to see the corn you had for lunch.
7. i hate it when my dad doesn’t let me nap. because he knows when i say i wake at 7pm i mean 12am. and he would use all means to prevent me from sleeping. like spraying water on my face. poking his elbows into my ribs. WIPING his hands on my face (SRSLY THIS IS LIKE THE MOST DISGUSTING THING EVER DUNNO WHERE HE GOT THAT SICK IDEA). ordering whiskey to attack me. JUST LET ME HAVE MY PRIVATE LITTLE HAPPY NAPPY TIME DUK NG DUK?!
8. i hate beetroots. this is like really random hahaha but i was reading this book just now and this grandpa was eating beetroot sandwiches which is disgusting. i ate it once i had to vomit it out. it tastes like expired corn grinded, dyed with blood and coagulated back into this devil of a vegetable.
9. i really really hate my stupid computer which has been with me since form 1. everybody! guess how big the memory is! is it 2GB? 1GB? 520MB?
256MB.
so i have to reboot every 30 minutes. not exaggerating. btw i want to get that dinky little vaio netbook!
10. i hate whiskey eating my earrings all the time. cuz i keep dropping them on the floor and before i can pick it up, he already FLIES to it for dear life and before i could get a final glimpse of the fallen earring, it would already have ended up in his stomach. sometimes i really want to chop up his stomach and see what rubbish he has inside. his favourite snacks are fingernails and tissue paper.
11. i hate people who follow trends blindly. for example. GLADIATORS ARE THE UGLIEST EFFING SHOES EVER. i don’t know how it can be so damn popular now. maybe i’m just not hip enough for them but seriously why would i want to walk around looking like russell crowe?
12. i hate accounts. if you want to be an accountant or take accounts in AL or university or whatever, prepare to commit suicide. every lesson i complain so much i annoy myself. it gets me so super mung every single day that i have to excuse myself every 30 mins to get some air and play tetris on my phone in the toilet. losing my textbook, notes and calculator a month before the mock exams does nothing to help proceedings by the way.
13. i hate how there’s no donut shops in hk anymore. i don’t want to eat pieces of cheap dough with sugar sprinkled on them that you get at the stupid bakery. if i want something like that i would have bought bloody chinese SA YUNGS. i want my dunkin’ donuts and big apple and krispy kreme. although its bloody disgusting when you see how the actual donuts are made..you know in krispy kreme..there’s these donuts queueing up, all floating on the river of oil that have little oil bubbles popping inside it.
14. i hate how sensitive the teeth on the right of my mouth are. it feels like they’ve got little plates on them and the little germ monsters (the cartoon ones that we watch in ETV all the time) are scratching on them with their little trident forks. sensodyne toothpaste’s useless. i bet they hire kehlehfehs to act in those ads as those dentists who say ‘i know it’s the best cuz i use it myself.’ yeah right sau pey la dai lo.
15. i hate people who show off. haven’t you heard of ‘yau seh jee yeen heung?’ (yeah i don’t wanna type it in chinese cuz i have no idea how you write SEH -_-) no one’s going to respect you you know. they’ll just hate you more and more and when you fail in something, you become the biggest joke. so please. go eat some humble pie.
16. i hate how dry my skin is. it’s literally PEELING OFF as i walk around. it looks like i’ve got eraser dust all over my face.
17. i hate people who ask me ‘have you studied yet?’ and when i say no they go like ‘chiu obviously you’re the kind of person who says they havent, but actually studied ging dor la!’ if you’re such a genius to know the answer yourself then don’t fucking ask me. i’m not the kind who secretly studies up to barn sai ging. i hate people who do that.
18. i hate it when i hear people getting into oxford cambridge harvard or whatever because things are just easier for them overseas or in international schools etc. while with this stupid chisin alevel i might end up going to lingnan. if i had the money i would have flown away ages ago. diu!
19. i hate chinese who pretend they can’t speak chinese. well if you’ve been brought up overseas all your life or something then fine. but if you’re like a normal chinese person brought up in a normal chinese family living in a normal chinese state, SPEAK CHINESE MAN. stop pretending that you’re a gwai por because you’re NOT. you NEVER will be. studying overseas for a couple of years doesn’t make you a part of them so sao pey please. esp if your english is really shitty or if you have a hk accent and still insist that you sound UMEARICUN. no one wants to listen to jackie chan anymore.
20. i HATE HATE HATE HATE people who take kissing pictures on facebook. i don’t want to see your tongues poking around each other’s orifices like little slimy worms. especially when your pupils go out of control and roll upwards, making you look like you’re possessed or something. it’s really scary you know? great now i got the image etched on my mind.
21. i HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE people who pretend they’re so ‘naughty’ and all that when they’re not. e.g. by skilfully posing in pictures to show their cigarettes or diamond black bottles. if you want to pretend to be WILD and all that, go get some heroin and down a bottle of absolut vodka and i might be mildly impressed. if not. go fuck yourself.
22. i hate people who like to show off their branded goods. honestly, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU USE AN LV BAG AS YOUR SCHOOLBAG? it just makes us think that a) you got it off shenzhen b) you nicked it from your mother c) you ate apples for lunch for a year to save up for it d) you’re just a effing barn yeh rich person. use a bloody rucksack bitch.
(wow i don’t know why i’m getting increasingly gik dung right now hahaha fire dou boil mai.)
23. i hate it when i’m out of money (who doesnt?) i remember i was once so poor during the holidays and i didn’t want to ask my parents for money i had to go around the house SCAVENGING for loose change. well in the end i got like a hundred bucks from all the coins lying around hahaha!
24. i hate people who pretend their english is really good when in fact it’s pretty damn shitty. i especially get annoyed when people mix up ‘lose’ and ‘loose’, ‘life’ and ‘live’, ‘their’ and ‘they’re’ etc. it also burns my eyes when i see people saying things like ‘he is handsome, doesn’t he?’ and when they say things like ‘you sux!’ i suck, you suck, he, she, it sucks. go back to grammar school you retards.
25. i hate smokers. you stink.
26. i hate people who are too obsessed with japanese/taiwanese shit. a mild obsession is fine e.g. i love ‘but leung siu fa’ and wilbur pan etc. but i don’t know. just annoys me when ppl ging obsessed. i have no reasons to justify myself. damn.
27. i hate myself.
okay there’s a lot more but i’m getting a little tired with all this rage surging up my throat. shocks me how much hatred i’m filled with. hahaha let me calm down now. anyway a long, long post to satisfy my jung sut fansee bonzo wan and stepchoi. i go boil mushroom soup for supper now. byebye!
p.s. oh btw just now on tvb the person was announcing al gore’s arrival or something. n she was like ‘GOH YEE ARRIVED LAK’ and i heard POH YEE. n i was like ‘ponyo’s here?!’ hahahahah. mo liu!
